would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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