ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
