saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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