You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize