Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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