So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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