he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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