I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize