I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
foreskin is a definite game changer
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How does one acquire holy water?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
