Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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