bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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