you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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