we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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