Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

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  (954): you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week http://tfl.nu/vx1e
  Replies (13) Good night (4935) Bad night (773)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

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  (704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/ot2w
  Replies (41) Good night (5789) Bad night (1776)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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  (206): at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception. http://tfl.nu/j51s
  Replies (34) Good night (1795) Bad night (4848)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.

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  (646): So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex. http://tfl.nu/jc5g
  Replies (8) Good night (5953) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink

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  (778): Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink http://tfl.nu/5oo7
  Replies (17) Good night (3489) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.

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  (619): It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car. http://tfl.nu/xdru
  Replies (3) Good night (2909) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.

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  (414): Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/gfee
  Replies (6) Good night (818) Bad night (1741)
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

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  (340): I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen. http://tfl.nu/cees
  Replies (25) Good night (4003) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.

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  (806): Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again. http://tfl.nu/oiv0
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she's perpetually drunk

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's all she knows

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  (610): I think she's perpetually drunk (484): It's all she knows http://tfl.nu/wd5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1389) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Not yet.

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  (817): I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous. (512): Not yet. http://tfl.nu/l0rj
  Replies (3) Good night (1195) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  desperate times, desperate measures

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  (574): most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water (1-574): desperate times, desperate measures http://tfl.nu/2k3a
  Replies (8) Good night (578) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?

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  (412): Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass? http://tfl.nu/n93b
  Replies (8) Good night (1195) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (770) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"

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  (608): It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy" http://tfl.nu/jtam
  Replies (0) Good night (681) Bad night (328)

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