so that wasnt chicken after all
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly