You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid