that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration