Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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