cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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