I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.