You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
