So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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