she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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