he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
