Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize