He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
