i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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