then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
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Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.