one two three fourrrrnication!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Someone came in the potted fern
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake