do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house