I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
