we're blogging at a bar
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
