i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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