maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
