He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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