Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
