No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
