I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
