problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
