You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
