I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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