just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
