Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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