so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
