you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
