somebody snuck up and got me drunk
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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