Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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