I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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