Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
