Please, let me fuck your mom
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
