Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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