this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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