True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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