Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
