woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
