I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
