I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
