we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize