I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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