Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
