you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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