Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I could teleport
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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