I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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