first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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