I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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