This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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