I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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