I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
