It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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