My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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