whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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