Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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