White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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