i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
