hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
