4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
