is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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