i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
There's even glitter on my cock...
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