talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
