I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
